I want bar hags to know I am their type of fella but I don’t want guys in leather making googoo eyes at me.
Chosen Answer:
Ooooh, definitely that redneck one that’s really full and goes down beside the mouth, but there’s no goatee. You know, the one Randy Johnson rocks out occasionally. Make sure you offer free mustache rides to all the scags at the bar.
by: April M
on: 4th September 06
14 responses so far ↓
1 Princess Summer // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:21 pm
Eww freak! No mustache will make any woman want to look at you!
2 gmakes3 // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:21 pm
Hags are all you will attrack with a moustache. They are soooo 80′s.
3 Ashley // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:21 pm
Did your mother ever had any kids that lived?
4 April M // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:23 pm
Ooooh, definitely that redneck one that’s really full and goes down beside the mouth, but there’s no goatee. You know, the one Randy Johnson rocks out occasionally. Make sure you offer free mustache rides to all the scags at the bar.
5 dirtfire // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:24 pm
Handlebar, curled up and waxed…… then ask the sleazebuckets if you can tickle their thighs
this is gross to me, a man once asked me that, at work, I turned him in for sexual harassment
But, this might work for the cheap tramps you are looking for in a bar
6 busy_kona_b // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:24 pm
Grow a foo man chu mustache; it’s very macho.
7 Aki // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:24 pm
um?
8 Michael W // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:25 pm
An Adolf Hitler moustache of course
9 larry n // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:26 pm
A wonderful, magical mustache. One that grants wishes.
Since I wear one, I’m a little disturbed to find out they are gay-magnets.
10 actfourscenethree // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:34 pm
your whole mustache theory is completely wrong. no girl will like you for your mustache. facial hair is sick.
11 Charley128 // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:38 pm
Maybe like the one Earl has on the TV show?
12 Dr. Bombay's Nurse // Sep 3, 2006 at 5:41 pm
A lil Richard (hang on a minute!!) type moustache that goes into an abbreviated goattee…you will be a skank magnet.
here’s what you do, drink a beer with some head on it, and then lick the beer foam out of it using your tongue.
For cryin out loud though, make sure you are in a straight bar when you do this…
13 tockers57 // Sep 3, 2006 at 6:21 pm
Use just a pencil line mustache. No self-respecting gay guy goes for those. Sleazy women will go for anything you put out there, but a pencil line is a true gay certified repellant.
Trust me….lol
14 aanstalokaniskiodov_nikolai // Sep 4, 2006 at 2:13 pm
You should give up on the mustache, and instead grow a nice beard just like the Santa Clause. Dye it white if you need to. This way the beer and tobacco stains will be much more noticeable. Just be careful not to spill too much beer or too much tobacco on that beard because those sleazy women will probably be so desperate for beer and such that they will eat your beard, but if you like that sort of thing (although I assume you don’t), be sure to load the beer and such on. I don’t think the men in leather will be licking your beard anytime soon…just those sleazy women.
However, the guaranteed way to attract bar hags is to not shower for several weeks. The men in leather only smell like leather and are attracted to their own kind. Surely you won’t smell like leather after not bathing for several weeks…you’ll smell like something else…best of luck!
(And what did you end up doing to Herb? Did it work?!)
Leave a Comment